Visit to the Svalyava Infant Orphanage

Svalyava is a town about an hour away from Perechyn. Svalyava is well known among the boarding school crowd as the "infant orphanage." This is the place infants are taken when they are removed from their mothers, following a few days waiting period in the local hospital.

As I wrote before, one of the reasons we started the "Mother's School" project was to educate young people and build the capacity of mentors to help educate young people from the orphanage to reduce the rates of teen pregnancy among graduates of the Perechyn orphanage. Over the past five years, more than 50 lives births have occurred among 38 teenage mothers graduating from the school. Most of these children have ended up here - in the Svalyava orphanage.

Iryna's goal, by taking them to see the actual orphanage, was to make this process "real" for them. She wanted them to see the place and understand what happens when children come to this place. We were not able to go into the school, as this is forbidden by Ukrainian law (only those who are authorized to be there are able to go in). However, we heard from people who know about life in this place and we facilitated a discussion with the children. The message was not to suggest that the children aren't cared for in this place - they are certainly cared for as much as they can be in an institutional setting. But, the bond between a parent and a child begins very early and the message was that they should consider their actions and their readiness to care for a child before having one.

Two members of our group know this very well. One of them, whom you see here with her child, was only able to keep her child from this place because a community mentor took her and the child into her home, and she is helping to care for them both. Another young mother was not so fortunate and as she stood peering through the gates, I couldn't imagine what she was thinking wiht her child in there and her standing out here in the cold. She was on the verge of getting her child back when a quarantine was put into place at the orphanage and she learned she would not be able to visit the orphanage or take her child until this quarantine lifted. Quarantines are common in Ukraine, as the availability of vaccines and medicines to combat outbreaks of such things as Hepatitis, the flu, etc. are not available.

Many thanks to Erin Simms, the PCV in Svalyava, who arranged for us to have a classroom at her school where we could hear from presenters and have our discussion. Erin is hoping she might be able to work with the infant orphanage herself.

Training at the Boarding School

We have had a busy few weeks! Here are photos from our training at the orphanage with about 30 teen residents. As you see here, one of the teachers at the school (also a mentor in our Mother's School program) used the information she learned from our training to design a training for youth. Our consultant, Olena, provided advice about how to adapt the material for a younger audience and we were able to do so. This training will be repeated in the future for other young people.

The teacher/mentor was able to pass along information she learned to the young people. They discussed such things as teen pregnancy, the developmental needs (physical and emotional) of pregnant mothers and their babies, as well as, the material needs they require after they have been born.

This kind of open dialogue is important with these children, as many of them have no parents (and thus, no examples in their lives) and/or little contact with adults who provide them such education. We take this for grantide in our everyday lives.

These kids are like every other teenager in the world. Their bodies are changing and the hormones are causing them to act in ways they may not understand. Many of them say they know these things and understand them, but we often found that their information was skewed and incorrect. The training, as much as anything, was important to changing their perceptions about how to become pregnant and how sexually transmitted diseases are passed on to others. But, just as important are the softer issues like psycho-social and moral issues as they relate to the choices these young people make in their lives.

Stan, Julie and their 3 girls

Over the last two weeks, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend time with a lovely couple from Indiana are now the proud parents of three girls from the Perechyn boarding school. They found this website after a search of the internet. It was such a joy, getting to know them and, at least in part, traveling with them on this epic journey.

They visited three schools in Ukraine, before finding a good fit with our own here in Perechyn. Like all new parents, they ran the gamut of emotions the month they were here, from nervous to happy, from tired to overjoyed. As they explained in their interview with a reporter from the Perechyn Kalaidescope newspaper, from the first day, the girls were absolutely certain that these were their parents – all of them, including the youngest who, barely able to read and write, insisted on signing the paper herself that it was her sincere wish to go home with this couple (even though she had an advocate who could sign for her). If you had met them, you would understand why; goodness and love transcend language barriers.

After trying to work out of his hotel room, Stan, a computer programmer, and I met at the time when he was considering returning to Kyiv in order to have regular internet access. Each day they were allowed to see the girls for three hours at a time and Stan and Julie would have been away from each other and from this experience together. So, it was quite provident that our office was equipped to fit his needs. Stan became a regular part of our “collective” and he fit right in.
On Men’s Day (also known as Red Army Day and Soviet Army Day), he celebrated with us in the kitchen. I joked with him that we are so much like a family, that we would normally be eating from the big plate of the chicken with our fingers. Plates and forks had been passed around in his honor. Stan, sat up and brightly asked if it would be ok to eat with his fingers; I smiled and translated his question to the rest of the office staff. Everyone let out a great laugh and the forks were put aside. Stan shared with us that our camaraderie reminded him of the four years that he and his wife Julie spent in Morocco.

In true Ukrainian fashion, theirs was a time of hurry-up and wait. Things would happen very quickly for awhile and then full-stop, while they waited to be added to the docket of the local courthouse line-up, or stood in line for a stamp, birthcertificate, or passport. Had I not gone through something similar (marrying a Ukrainian), I could not have appreciated the amount of patience they had, even though they had hired a facilitator to help them navigate the system. As we entered a very long holiday weekend, there was a mad dash to get all the paperwork completed so they could get to Kyiv for medical interviews and final visa checks (before the holiday festivities began and offices closed down).

I went shopping with Julie as she prepared a party for each of the girls’ classes at school. I had this vision of her with a Tupperware full of cupcakes, she had made with one of her daughters, sitting in the backseat of a minivan two years from now; after dropping her girls off at school, she made her way to her job as a nurse practitioner at the local hospital. Life - ordinary, beautiful.

On Tuesday, they waited in a local government office all morning, and then rushed into our office to pick up the cakes they had left in our refrigerator the day before. They were off to the classroom parties. At the end of the evening, Max (my husband), Michele (another Peace Corps volunteer in Perechyn), and I happily celebrated their new “simeyni zhittia (family life)” at our apartment. It was Julie’s birthday and the birthday of their new family. We talked about their experience and their journey to get to this place - really, just the beginning.

Many people ask about the language barrier between the girls and the new parents. Stan and Julie speak some Russian, but anyone who has spent any amount of time in a foreign country knows that when you cannot communicate with words, you learn other ways to express yourself. In some ways, this expression is more meaningful than words could ever be. It is non-verbal communication that brings people to their most meaningful relationships, whether or not they speak the same language.

My husband, Maksym, took the day off to clean our apartment and make a traditional Ukrainian meal in honor of Stan and Julie. Just before we ate, he made this toast. “I grew up in the boarding school, myself, and I want to tell you that what you are doing for these girls is a great thing. Here’s to good people who do great things.”

Mother's School Training: The Case of Two-year Old John

Today, we spent the morning learning about early childhood development and the needs of the child from conception to age three (using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs among other theorists).

But, the most powerful part of the day was the end, when we watched a film about a young child named John, who was left by his mother at an orphanage for nine days. There were around 8 children in two rooms being cared for by 3 or 4 nurses.

The black and white film showed how over the course of nine days, the child’s experience day in and day out was impacted to the point that his personality almost completely changed. The first few days he was sad, but calm, by day three he was using a teddy bear as a surrogate mother, while attempting numerous times to sit on the lap of several of the nurses. By day six he was acting out and, because of this, he did get more attention, but by days seven and eight he was depressed and could not be consoled by anyone. He stopped eating and by day nine and there was concern for his health by the nurses. He would go back and forth from belligerent to inconsolable.

On day nine, John’s mother returned. At first, he wouldn’t go to her; he was put in her arms and was calm, but after a few minutes he started screaming again. The mother wanted to comfort him, but couldn’t. The child, after a struggle calmed down again. Several times he left her, hysterically. There was a point near the end when he was sitting on the lap of the parish priest and he looked at his mom with an unbelievably difficult face to forget.

I was reminded of what I know about post-traumatic stress disorder. It is possible to recover from it in a function way, but there is a window of exposure that makes it harder and even impossible to recover. This was nine days – imagine those children growing up in these institutions; not hard to imagine, since it is a reality in Ukraine. It has nothing to do with the nurses not caring for the children. They clearly were doing the best they could, feeding, clothing, bathing and putting the children to bed. But nothing could replace the important bond that forms between a parent and child which contributes to their stable development to adulthood.

The consultant showed us a chart later that showed, roughly, that 75% of our learning in life takes place before the age of three. In this case, could 9 days before the age of three, be equated to months or even years of time as an adult?

Roundtable with Local Officials

In the early evening after the first day of training, we hosted a roundtable for local officials and members of the community to talk about this population. All but one member of the training stayed behind, which was quite energizing.

Iryna had invited an inspiring woman to open the session and she talked about the day she learned about this young woman and her baby (photo below) who were about to be turned out onto the street. She said that she just couldn't see any other way than to take her into her home - she was quite humble about it and even surprised to be asked to speak. But, you could tell the baby was quite adapted to her new "grandmother" and on her way to a healthy life. And, it was the perfect way to open the Roundtable - an honorable, generous community member, a young, healthy mother and her baby quietly sitting on her lap. A local reporter was at the roundtable and arranged to feature them in the "Women's Day" issue of the local newspaper.

We had hoped to have have more officials, unfortunately there was only one. However, the mayor's number 2 person was on hand and the mayor herself stopped to recognize Iryna for her commitment to the community (photo below right). The elected official is an oblast (state) representative and if we could only have had one, she would have been one of the best to have (photo of her above with a standing Iryna). Very well-connected and influential, she was clearly interested in the topic and took lots of notes when the consultant talked about our day, the state of things in Ukraine, and how elected officials can help tackle this issue.

The two most pressing issues, identified earlier in the day, were registration and a one-stop place where one can go to find out about all available resources. I could see the wheels were turning about how we might be able to streamline the local process.

One example was discussed. A local woman who has no identification and cannot get any because she has no family. In order to get a "passport" (ID card) one must return to their place of birth, prove they are who they say they are, and wait for a period of time for processing. This woman was from another part of Ukraine, lacked money to return and had no place to stay while she waited. Her child cannot be registered, because she, the mother, is not registered. Furthermore, to prove you are who you say you are - one must have identification. To pick up a new identification, one must present identification. Seems a bit reciprocal doesn't it?

The consultant shared that, in another community, the police accepted the sworn statement of two members of the community who knew the person and were able to approve registration. This was just one example of how a local social service agency has worked with local police in partnership.

It was even more powerful ending the session with mini-presentations by former graduates of the boarding school who are making it - and contributing members of society after receiving the support of Opika and other organizations like them to help them get set-up to live life on their own, soundly and securely.