Mother's School Training: The Case of Two-year Old John

Today, we spent the morning learning about early childhood development and the needs of the child from conception to age three (using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs among other theorists).

But, the most powerful part of the day was the end, when we watched a film about a young child named John, who was left by his mother at an orphanage for nine days. There were around 8 children in two rooms being cared for by 3 or 4 nurses.

The black and white film showed how over the course of nine days, the child’s experience day in and day out was impacted to the point that his personality almost completely changed. The first few days he was sad, but calm, by day three he was using a teddy bear as a surrogate mother, while attempting numerous times to sit on the lap of several of the nurses. By day six he was acting out and, because of this, he did get more attention, but by days seven and eight he was depressed and could not be consoled by anyone. He stopped eating and by day nine and there was concern for his health by the nurses. He would go back and forth from belligerent to inconsolable.

On day nine, John’s mother returned. At first, he wouldn’t go to her; he was put in her arms and was calm, but after a few minutes he started screaming again. The mother wanted to comfort him, but couldn’t. The child, after a struggle calmed down again. Several times he left her, hysterically. There was a point near the end when he was sitting on the lap of the parish priest and he looked at his mom with an unbelievably difficult face to forget.

I was reminded of what I know about post-traumatic stress disorder. It is possible to recover from it in a function way, but there is a window of exposure that makes it harder and even impossible to recover. This was nine days – imagine those children growing up in these institutions; not hard to imagine, since it is a reality in Ukraine. It has nothing to do with the nurses not caring for the children. They clearly were doing the best they could, feeding, clothing, bathing and putting the children to bed. But nothing could replace the important bond that forms between a parent and child which contributes to their stable development to adulthood.

The consultant showed us a chart later that showed, roughly, that 75% of our learning in life takes place before the age of three. In this case, could 9 days before the age of three, be equated to months or even years of time as an adult?

Roundtable with Local Officials

In the early evening after the first day of training, we hosted a roundtable for local officials and members of the community to talk about this population. All but one member of the training stayed behind, which was quite energizing.

Iryna had invited an inspiring woman to open the session and she talked about the day she learned about this young woman and her baby (photo below) who were about to be turned out onto the street. She said that she just couldn't see any other way than to take her into her home - she was quite humble about it and even surprised to be asked to speak. But, you could tell the baby was quite adapted to her new "grandmother" and on her way to a healthy life. And, it was the perfect way to open the Roundtable - an honorable, generous community member, a young, healthy mother and her baby quietly sitting on her lap. A local reporter was at the roundtable and arranged to feature them in the "Women's Day" issue of the local newspaper.

We had hoped to have have more officials, unfortunately there was only one. However, the mayor's number 2 person was on hand and the mayor herself stopped to recognize Iryna for her commitment to the community (photo below right). The elected official is an oblast (state) representative and if we could only have had one, she would have been one of the best to have (photo of her above with a standing Iryna). Very well-connected and influential, she was clearly interested in the topic and took lots of notes when the consultant talked about our day, the state of things in Ukraine, and how elected officials can help tackle this issue.

The two most pressing issues, identified earlier in the day, were registration and a one-stop place where one can go to find out about all available resources. I could see the wheels were turning about how we might be able to streamline the local process.

One example was discussed. A local woman who has no identification and cannot get any because she has no family. In order to get a "passport" (ID card) one must return to their place of birth, prove they are who they say they are, and wait for a period of time for processing. This woman was from another part of Ukraine, lacked money to return and had no place to stay while she waited. Her child cannot be registered, because she, the mother, is not registered. Furthermore, to prove you are who you say you are - one must have identification. To pick up a new identification, one must present identification. Seems a bit reciprocal doesn't it?

The consultant shared that, in another community, the police accepted the sworn statement of two members of the community who knew the person and were able to approve registration. This was just one example of how a local social service agency has worked with local police in partnership.

It was even more powerful ending the session with mini-presentations by former graduates of the boarding school who are making it - and contributing members of society after receiving the support of Opika and other organizations like them to help them get set-up to live life on their own, soundly and securely.

About the Consultant

It was extremely helpful to have the outside consultant. As a trainer for "EveryChild" Ukraine (link to the UK site in English), she and her organization are the best in their field. They were trained by the Institute for Human Service (IHS) in Columbus, Ohio, with whom I was connected in my life before Peace Corps. IHS' founders literally wrote the books on childhood development practice in child welfare.

Olena, our trainer, is also a practicing professional and so, she could challenge our thinking about how we interpret the law, work with local officials (particularly the police), and advocate for the rights of the girls.

One of the most important things she was able to help empower this group to feel they were more prepared to challenge assumptions and advocate more for the young women, rather than feel powerless in the face of sometimes corrupt and/or convoluted local systems.

This was quite evident at the roundtable that evening, when practically every member of the training stayed to share their thoughts and ideas with the local officials.

Mother's School Training - Portraits and Biases

Today rounded out the first day of the "Mother's School" that the ladies of Opika and I put together. Funded by the US Peace Corps through their Special Projects Assistance (SPA) Program, Peace Corps helps support volunteer projects that a) help build civic engagement and/or b) help build the capacity of a nonprofit organization. In this case, we were building the capacity of Opika to respond to a particular sector of the population they serve - teen mothers.

The day was quite long, probably longer for the trainer who traveled from Lugansk all the way to the West coast of Ukraine (about 1.5 days by train). Here is how the day went. We:

1. Created a Portrait of the typical "teen mom" Opika serves

• Age 14 to 24,
• Orphaned or removed from situations of neglect,
• Husband or father of the child is unlikely to be part of the life of the mother/child,
• Lack basic material needs - food, clothing, shelter, etc.,
• Psychologically not prepared themselves and unable to provide this for their unborn and living children, and
• A particular cultural aspect unique to Western Ukraine - young Roma mothers.

We then:

2. Listened to Statistics about other parts of Ukraine and, realized (with the acception of the Roma mothers) our situation is not that much different from other parts of the country.

3. Identified the Top Concerns to serving this population and discussed Ways to Tackle them.

4. Undertook an activity to bring out our own Biases.

Most of the people in the training were trained as teachers, not psychologist and social workers. So, our understanding of child development was very narrow. The consultant pushed us into confronting our own biases about working with these children, because she was preparing us for tomorrow, when we will learn about child development from conception to age three.

The better we understand the needs of the girls, the better able we are to respond to them and to get out of the way of our own misconceptions about what we think they need.

Roof Raised and Entranceway Prepared

Nora Havasi, one of Opika's volunteers and a professional translator, recently stopped by the house and took these photos! We can now say that the roof has been raised and an entranceway prepared.

This is a big step forward for us, because it means that we can begin work inside the house while winter is still doing its best to keep bundled up and in our warm houses! We shall have to wait until the ground thaws to put in the water lines, but the well is ready to start pumping water.

It is so very exciting to see things start to come together. My time in Peace Corps ends June 28th and I would really love to see this house occupied before I leave. I can already imagine the little bare feet pattering around the yard as moms weed the garden. My husband and I are donating our refrigerator, a mattress and as many things as possible from our own place to help get the place started.

The wiring must be completely redone, a water line and pump installed, and the bathroom and kitchen prepared before the girls can move in.

The bathroom will require quite a bit of infrastructure - including a toilet, tub, sink, tile, etc. The kitchen has a stove pipe, but a stove is needed as gas and water lines. I recently put in for a small grant to an organization called "Appropriate Projects" for the installation of the water line, pump, and kitchen sink. This grant is for $500; I will let you know later how this turns out!

Lest you fear you upon my departure (five months from now) you will cease to know about this project, as many of you know, my heart is forever tied to this place and so this blog will continue to live on as will my work with Opika for as long as I have breath in me. And of course, Max and I hope to be able to return to Perechyn occasionally.

Check back to see more about the work of Opika and Opika House! And, make your contribution today!

Before and After

BEFORE

AFTER

$642 donation from Seminary UMC

It is cold and snow is on the ground in Perechyn.  It has been on the ground for what feels like an epoch!  We are very eager to keep moving on the reconstruction of Opika House, alas the weather makes this impossible.  

However, we are very happy to report that over the winter months we received a $642 donation from Friends of Seminary United Methodist Church (Big Stone Gap, Virginia) as a special Christmas contribution.  Thank you so very much to our friends in Virginia.  We cannot wait to once again begin our construction so that we may show you are progress.

Opika Performers at the 2011 Smithsonian Folklife Festival

Another piece of great news, some of Opika's volunteers were selected to represent Peace Corps, not only from Ukraine but from around the world, at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival from June 30-July 11.  

The ten performers will help Peace Corps celebrate its 50th Anniversary, by showcasing some of the work that Peace Corps Volunteers do around the world.  Opika's director, Iryna Sydakova is designing a performance to highlight the best of Ukrainian culture, the uniqueness of the Peace Corps Volunteer experience, and the way in which local communities work together with a volunteer to insure a successful relationship.  

But, you already know all about this if you are reading our blog!  If you would like to read more about the festival, go to: http://www.festival.si.edu/ or click here.